Hello Shia LaBeouf,

It’s Tuesday and I’m back to the daily grind of reading everything on the Internet. I happened on this article

So What The Hell Has Been Going On With Shia LeBeouf Lately?

and a flame alighted, a curious flame. Then I watched that weird Sigur Ros art music video thing and the flame turned into an epiphany.

Shia, I thought you were an ass (I probably still do) but you’ve got my attention. 

Maybe because you have similar qualities of every single man I have been interested in, dated, or befriended in the last 3 years:

artistic, intelligent, wandering, tattooed, outspoken, a little (or a lot) tortured, intense, bearded (or mustached).

 See? Beard.

I imagine you also love fine gin and/or whiskey and refuse to wear shoes on occasion, which seals the proverbial deal.